The holidays have come and gone, so I’m here like a boss, like a post-holiday Santa Boss, to make sure you’re up to date with the latest in the OJBG realm. Since it’s after New Year’s (we made it through the so-called Mayan apocalypse!), the new and final OJBG episodes will now roll out (from Season 6 aka the final season). To make sure you’re in the know, you can read the OJBG recaps at CherryGrrl and stop by www.OJinBG.com where there will be free episode downloads and news of presents & giveaways (yes, for free ) The holidays are over, but we’re still in the giving spirit!
We’re now catching up on Ep. 6.03 (Brought to You by the Letters DXM). We know Sarah’s not picking up her band-mates phone calls because she’s been rebounding with Chloe, getting walked in on by Chloe’s fiancé Adrian, and finally getting weirded out by the whole situation and dipping out entirely. Sheesh, what a mess!
Alex, on the other hand, has been wallowing in her heart-broken, jealous-ridden misery and seems like she’s at a breaking point. All it took was one bad joke in an English accent for Alex to refuse Tamsin’s extended olive branch. And Alex has now continued to rage against her posse. We kind of get it though, the girl’s been through a lot. She could use a break.
And she finally gets one… but it’s not the kind I think we expected. She reacquaints herself with her old, trustworthy friend, Robitussin and goes on a nice, long robotrip. She finds herself in a trippy wonderland where different colors, murals, and old memories blur the line of reality and eventually leave a terrible taste in her mouth. But her logic makes sense, right? I mean, if it can cure you of the flu, why can’t Robitussin cure you of a broken heart, too?
With wonderful sugar plum fairy music, we accompany Alex as she not-so-gracefully slumps in an alley and downs her bottle of remedies. With shifty eyes and robo-dribble on her chin, she stumbles down the alley and is confronted by a barrage of distorted colors and menacing smiling faces. It almost feels like we’re going on an adventure down the rabbit hole with Alice… only this trip is kind of creepy.
Alex precariously teeter-totters down the alley and ends up at the iconic Spanish Steps. This place is imbued with memories and, of course, brings Alex back to the day in Ep. 4.3 when she and her now-ex-boyfriend Davis spent the day innocently dancing on the steps and slowly falling in love. All dopey-smiled in her robo-reverie and with closed eyes, Alex sways herself with her non-existent dance partner. It’s such a sweet robotrip until she trips and falls… right on her face. Smack– back to reality
With this rude awakening, she scrambles for her Robitussin. But woe to our grief-stricken heroine, it’s all gone There’s nothing left in which to drown her sorrows… except maybe a puddle of her own vomit. Lying on the steps in her lonesome despair, who else but her high school Vice Principal appears. WHA?! Ergh.
Mr. Thornton comes walking down the steps telling Alex she needs to be more careful. She explains her sloppiness by saying she just has “a really bad cold”… and that no one loves her. If ever there was a hug coming this girl’s way– now would be the time. Unfortunately….at precisely this moment, Alex proceeds to vomit at his feet. Thornton leaves (really, who would stick around for that??) No dice on that hug, homeslice.
Alex slumps herself down on the steps, (now with extra vomit dribbling down her chin)…only to stick her hand into her own vomit– gross. She extends her vomit-covered hand and tragically cries out, “voooomiiiiit!” And we end with Vice Principal Thornton’s voice harkening back to graduation: “You can celebrate now, it’s over!” Is this all just a very strange trip? Or is this all happening? At least the pity party and pain are real — that’s for sure.
A lot of things are over now for Alex– her relationship, her new crush, she’s alienated her friends– let’s only hope she can get over her robotrip in one piece. Robojuice and vomit are not a good look. Our poor intrepid heroine needs a serious BREAK. Alex, I want to wrap you up in a blanket and give you a big hug. Just please PLEASE don’t vomit on me. OK?