Music has come a long way. From crude, prehistoric tribal drums, to the classical works of Motzart, and beyond… Music has truly come a long way. But then, once in a while, there are “songs” that make you question everything you think you know about music, and not in a good way.
Enter: Octomom, and her “Sexy Party”
Yes, it’s true… everyone’s favorite–wait, you know what, no. She’s no one’s favorite anything, this is truly absurd. The brass tacks of it all is, for some reason, someone allowed Octomom to get into a recording booth, and they pressed “record.” A truly, terrible, terrible decision, worse than whoever told Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian to cause similar musical travesties.
The full “song” hasn’t been released yet, but a few days ago, TMZ got their hands on a sample of it… I now give you a brief taste of “Sexy Party.” Just know, someone, somewhere, considers this music.
Anyone still with me? I know you’re probably deaf right now, but you don’t need your ears to read, so stick with me. So what did we learn? First, we now know that Octomom can count to, and back from 8, so… I mean, good for her. Next, that in order to maintain the artistic integrity of the entire medium of music, such an occurrence must never, ever happen again. When Rebecca Black and the rest of the Ark Music Factory bullpen of scammed and embarrassed children have more musical credentials than anybody, you know there’s a problem.
So, who’s the blame for this? First of all, I’m just going to throw this out there, I place part of the blame on that guy on the cover, just because. Shame on you sir. Next, it’d be easy to blame Octomom herself. Yeah, probably shouldn’t have taken those fertility drugs like tic-tacs, probably shouldn’t have done a lot of things that have lead to (amongst other weird happenings) bankruptcy, sketchy loan informercials, stipping, porn, and “Sexy Party.” Yeah, she needs money, and is doing a lot of stupid stuff, people do that… but you know who is really to blame, YOU!
Well, okay, maybe not specifically you, but I’m just going to blame American pop culture. We allow this nonsense to happen. We pay attention to the freak show that is our pop culture, allow it flourish, and we celebrate it. But it’s okay though, because when we want to save face, we simultaneously damn it, by saying how terrible or trashy this kind of crap is. As a society, we latch on to whatever the new side show attraction is, be it the Kardashians, Jersey Shore, or Octomom, and it’s all a disaster from there. With all the attention paid to these figures, we some how validate them and their behavior, inflating their egos (or in some cases, desperation) to the point where they believe travesties like “Sexy Party” are a good and worthwhile idea.
So, shame on us, all of us. We created this monster named “Sexy Party,” and we must live with it. We can only hope that maybe future generations will learn not to give credence to such figures, just maybe…
But in the mean time… I missed the last episode of Honey Boo Boo, did they eat Glitzy yet? Or will that be a sweeps episode?
I also blame T-Pain for his part in popularizing auto-tune. Sorry T-Pain, no one is innocent.
Seriously, 2012 end of days.