Laser Tag, The Sport of Kings (Future Space Kings That is…)

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Who doesn’t like laser tag???

Running around the arena and pretending like you were in some actual danger. The possibilities of strategy were endless. Backstabbing your friends and shooting them at the beginning of the round. Choosing one kid to be the human shield to take all the negative points. the coup de grace of it all was watching the miserable attendees while playing, not to mention firing lasers at their eyes.  It sounds horrible, but as a deviant child I got a lot of pleasure out of this.

I, Aaron Freidus, formally apologize to anyone I may have blinded while playing at their laser tag arena.

The one down side to laser tag was that %$#’n pack you had to wear. Unfortunately my 13-year-old frame couldn’t support such a GOLIATH piece of technology. I’ve probably suffered multiple crippling side effects from wearing one for too long. Come to think of it I’m pretty sure you had to sign some kind of responsibility waver to even play laser tag.

As I look back on it, laser tag was the perfect way for mothers to get their hyper-active-ADD kids to calm down. Here’s MY breakdown of laser tag:

15-20 hype adolescents with lasers set loose in a case like arena for 20 minutes all obsessing over POINTS!!

This is not to say laser tag is a purely juvenile sport. During my past two college semesters I’ve been propositioned laser tag no less than three times. The real question is if it would make a good date sport. Ideally the date would end up like the 10 Things I Hate About You paintball scene, but I can just picture the reality…

After doing a little research online, I found out that you could actually buy these things. Whose to say that the past’s interpretation of the future can’t be our actual one.  So, I’m putting my foot down and officially starting a fashion trend based on laser tag vests. (have hipsters done it yet????)

It’ll be like a cyber-punk 80’s movement or something.  I’m just going to put a disclaimer on this and suggest that you don’t wear your laser tag vest in any type of urban area, as to not get arrested. You really don’t want to be that crazy guy on the five’o’clock news wearing a laser tag outfit in public while resisting arrest. On the other hand, it’d be pretty amusing to have squadrons of laser tag hipsters nonchalantly perusing each other through Williamsburg streets.

I can only hope that when I have kids, laser tag is still around. If it is it’ll probably be my steeple of parenting.

By Aaron Freidus

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